Some days it just seems impossible

It seems impossible some days.

To do it all, to get anything done. To keep track of everything.

To do the right thing, to make it all look good. To choose correctly.

To remember, to plan, to perfect.

To make sense. To have the answer.

“Sorry for the mess.”
“Sorry for the mistake.”
“Sorry for the confusion.”
“Sorry for the miscommunication.”
“Sorry for the delay.”

I am doing too much.

I am expecting too much of myself.

I need to give myself a break.

It is here, in the chaos, in the trenches—that I truly realize that.

I am holding space for the upset feeling that overtakes me,

when I mess up, when I say the wrong thing, when I’m not balancing.

I am trying to forgive myself.

I am practicing being gentle with myself.

I am attempting to create structure inside of the mess, in places where I notice structure is doable and would be beneficial.

I am searching for calm.

I am figuring out a better way.

Maggie said to me tonight, “I know being a mom is hard.”

Yes, kiddo, it is. Boy is it hard.

But no one ever said that a beautiful, full life would be easy.

And the ‘hard’ of it all is what’s making me better, stronger, more compassionate. It’s what’s causing me to pause and reevaluate the overwhelm of it all. To gain clarity. To stop comparing my life to other people’s lives. To always put my family first.

It seems impossible on the hard days. But the sun will shine and it’ll all feel possible again.

Everyone’s motherhood story has rainstorms and rainbows, clouds and clear skies. But don’t get caught up in someone else’s weather, just focus on your own forecast.

And when the sun is shining down on you, mama, try to spread those rays around as best you can. 👌☔️☀️

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