This home, imperfect as it may be, is our haven

I often wonder how long it’ll be before we move to our “forever home”. I wonder when we’ll have enough money to prioritize buying a new bedroom set. I wonder when we’ll pull the plug and finally get new flooring in the kitchen or re-do the pink and black bathroom.

I like our home. I’m okay with our home. But I’m often thinking, “I will try harder when we move” or “our next house will be nicer—it’ll look more grown up.” Like, what, this is our pretend home or something? Is this home isn’t worthy of my care and attention now? I’ve decided that’s not true.

This home, while small and modest, is the home we’ve brought all three of our daughters to. It’s where we’ve celebrated many birthdays and holidays, career advancements and baby milestones. It has felt safe when the world has not. It has been a sense of comfort when I’ve felt broken. This home, imperfect as it may be, is our haven.

This weekend, Marie Kondo got me. Yesterday and today I purged and organized and sorted. I combed through the whole house and got rid of broken things, threw out expired things, boxed up unused things—I took full inventory of the house and found a place for everything that I deemed worthy to stay. And I felt something while doing all of this.

I felt pride. I am proud of this home. I am proud of the work we’re doing inside these walls—the love we show one another, the lessons we’re learning together, and the family we are building.

With each closet or bin I cleaned out I felt embarrassed or shameful almost—how could we have left this stuff hanging around? But it’s been a wild five years of bringing three kids into the world and figuring this whole parenting thing out, so I extended myself some grace and patted myself on the back for deciding to start today.

We got rid of a ton this weekend. I hope to continue to be mindful of all that we’re bringing into our home, and continue to get rid of/donate things that no longer serve us, or as MK says, sparks joy. ✨

(Thanks for all the encouragement for those who watched my Instagram stories. It really helped! 🙌)

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