Last night as I was falling asleep, I pictured my husband and I in 20 years—wondering what our lives will look like.

He’ll be 53, I’ll be 52. Our kids will be 25, 23 and 21. They will be adults who are figuring out their lives (or at least trying to). They will be in the next stage of life—trying to decide who they are exactly, and what their purpose is here on Earth.

My husband and I will have most likely experienced an empty nest by now. The kids will have probably moved out—to college or with friends or maybe partners—they won’t need their tuck-ins or help with their bath before bed. They won’t climb into our beds and kick us with their little feet, and they won’t whine at us in the morning when we make waffles instead of pancakes. They won’t cover us in kisses or ask us to pick them up.

But they will still need us. They’ll call us for advice on whether they should take that job offer or not. They’ll agonize over whether we will like their new love interest. They’ll beg us for help with their taxes and wonder if we were ever as confused as they feel sometimes.

And so, we’ll give our advice when we’re asked. And we’ll welcome their partners into our lives. And we’ll help with their taxes (okay, Colin will…) And we’ll tell them that yes—we were definitely as confused as they are. We’ll tell them that we’re actually still trying to figure a lot of things out.That throughout life, you’re sort of always trying to become the truest version of yourself.

Colin and I will be in the next stage of our lives, too. Maybe we’ll be preparing for retirement. We’ll be reconnecting with each other in new ways—going on adventures, traveling, watching our children fly.We’ll be returning the favor to our own parents by helping take care of them. We’ll have been through so much together; building this life, bit by bit.

And my hope for this 20-years-from-now version of us is that we will have raised humans who are authentic and kind. Who have dreams and passions. People who love deeply and aren’t afraid of making mistakes. And maybe most of all, people who truly know—and are comfortable with—who they are.

And that they know their mom and dad love them beyond measure.❤